Yesterday D decided to walk to Walmart some 5 miles from our home in the snow. I had told him the night before that driving would be a poor choice as schools were closed and many businesses due to the white out conditions and ice on the roads and walking paths. Despite my best efforts to change his mind or tell him defying me would have consequences he walked in his snow suit with his whellies and a pair of summer socks, shorts and short sleeve shirt. He had no hat, or gloves. After arriving at his destination he realized something was running down his legs but didn't bother to look. He finished his shopping and returned home. While removing his snow suit he realized his legs were bleeding in a circular pattern around his calves. He informed me in a matter of fact kind of way after removing his boots. I bandaged his wounds and suggested he not walk in his whellies for a while. So later that evening he snuck out of the house again when I was busy cooking dinner. Easy for him to do. He is "20" after all. I go after him this time and find him almost home from a walk to Whole Foods. This time he is wearing crocks with socks in the snow. Thankfully he doesn't seem to have frostbite, though how I can't imagine.

He's to big for me to physically stop! I try to reason with him. He just can't change his mind sometimes and thinks nothing of his quirky behavior. I reason with him as I would any client that I work with in my practice as an R.N., but he sees me as a ridiculous over protective Mother. Nothing I say seems to phase him and he continues to take risks. And the state wonders why their mortality rate is 20% in comparison to the general population.

If this isn't frightening enough for a Mother, one of our Yale family has lost their child to a freak traffic accident this past week. He was the same age as my D and someone who had a rough go in life. I ache for his Mother. I wake most mornings remembering that she wakes with the thought he is nolonger with her. I wonder if I will know her pain some day? It is not such a far stretch when things like what happened yesterday are regular occurences with my D.

I guess for now I will resign myself to rejoice in every day I have with D. I won't dwell... but plan for next time and the intervention I will try...and hope the consequences I put in place this time had some impact in the prevention of next time. Always "do what you say" as it is imperative to being effective in your parenting. It is one lesson I learned early on. Words mean a great deal to our kids. In many situations, they feel it is the law. I pray we all find the path of understanding...