Thursday, July 26, 2012

Background on the platinum magnolia image


PLATINUM 

Chemistry a heavy, grayish-white, highly malleable andductile metallic element, resistant to most chemicals,practically unoxidizable except in the presence of bases, andfusible only at extremely high temperatures: used for makingchemical and scientific apparatus, as a catalyst in theoxidation of ammonia to nitric acid, and in jewelry. Symbol: Pt; atomic weight 195.09; atomic number:  78; specificgravity:  21.5 at 20°C. 

MAGNOLIA
magnolia family of the order Magnoliales that contains 7 generaand 227 species, including many handsome, fragrant-floweringtrees and shrubs. Most have simple leaves and an elongatedconelike floral axis with flowers that have six tepals (sepals andpetals that are not distinctly different), many spirally arrangedstamens, and one, two, or many carpels (female reproductivestructures). The seeds of many species hang by threads from theconelike fruits. In most species the flowers are bisexual and areborne on branch tips. The long floral axis, spiral arrangement ofthe flower parts, and simple vessels (water-conducting cells) inthe wood all mark the family as a primitive one on theevolutionary scale. 


These two words put together.. to me, envision a choice and a mindset that has inspired me through some very dark moments. And here we begin....

"A Mother Who has lived with an Autistic Child for Eighteen Years"

July 18, 2012

It occurred to me today after much thought and trepidation that it is finally time to speak about a subject that has been a fight for me for some eighteen years. I want to tell you what it is like to raise my autistic child. I am not venting though it may seem so at times but rather trying to educate in a way that will help others cope with a problem that many of us face, whether they are our children, parents, or significant others. I may provide insight at times, or share feelings, or just provide some skill I picked up along the way. It is by no means meant to instruct you to follow my path and I make no judgement about your choices. My feeling is that for these many years I have walked a road that is very lonely and sometimes humiliating, but it is one I would never abandon. 
So on that somber note I'm going to begin with today's happenings.

I'm lying on my bed on this very hot July afternoon with a minor urinary tract infection. I get up, work for a bit and then lay back down to restore to begin again. I'm watching an old movie with my twelve year old son. My almost fifteen year old son is looking for the mail. He's asked both me and Dyl's my twelve year old and now he returns to the first floor to ask David my eighteen year old son who is by definition a high functioning Autistic. For some who know David they understand the picture because they talk to him, know his disorganized thoughts and strange conclusions regarding certain subjects. But if you met him off the street you would see him as an adorable very attractive young man who loves to shop, eat and chat. 

But to us, his family, we many times must walk on eggshells. We are his safety net, so when he's feeling something strongly, we will bare the brunt of his behavior. Today was one of those moments that I recognized must change in order to prevent permanent damage to my other children. 

Dave flew off the handle because Dallas ask if he had seen the mail while watching television. David's rationale for his behavior was that he was trying to learn something important. When arguing with him it is a continuous struggle to impart information as he will continually speak over you and even talk louder so that he feels heard. We always discuss that his excuses for his behavior will not be tolerated by the general public is number one because we don't want him arrested or encouraged in anyway to exhibit such behavior in public. Today, I worked on explaining that is is picking away at Dallas's love for him and his self esteem when he verbally attacks his brother. Meanwhile Dyl's is on the second floor in my bedroom listening to the attack on Dallas and me coming to his aid to prevent what has happen on occasion in the past. A full blown meltdown that results in broken walls, decorations and occasionally scraps and bruises. This behavior is never tolerated and we have a therapist that deals with Dave's behavior regularly, but  nothing happens quickly with him. It is a work in progress much like a fine work of art or a building. 




Resources I have found helpful:

Marlton Pediatrics
www.advocaredoctors.com/marltonpeds/index.aspx
Heidi Weinroth is a mother and pediatrician who has provided invaluable insight into our world. She's a Mom who's walked the walk.

Center for Family Guidance
www.ctrfamilyguidance.com
Many of the practictioners have aided us with resources for our son. They deal with people of all ages and diagnoses. A healthy mental outlook is important for the entire family, not just our loved one.

ASPEN Family Issues Chapter in Camden/Burlington Counties
www.asennj.org/chapters_camden.asp
Meet at the Katz Jewish Community Center
Springdale Rd, Cherry Hill 856-424-4444
Check out the website for meeting information and topics being discussed. A great place to find resources and learn the ropes. They discuss everything from legal issues to fighting the school system.

Parents of Autistic Children Together
www.solvingthepuzzle.com
Organization that socializes our kids and the family in a healthy environment. P.A.C.T. is a chapter of the Autism Society of America and is located in Marlton, New Jersey

Department of Human Services
http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/ddd/home/index.html
Division of Developmental Disabilities
Apply for services, register your child with the state, find financial help and more resources.

Center for Neurological and Neurodevelopmental Health
http://www.thecnnh.org
(856) 346-0005
CNNH provides comprehensive and multidisciplinary evaluation and treatment. It is also the home of LEGO therapy. Check out the website to learn more.